Shift To Wisdom

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Coping with emotional issues

All problems stem from people who have core beliefs and emotional need that are ignored and are not respected. This is the challenge the human condition faces to live in harmony. Try to see the problem from its perceptive beliefs and core values. This will shed light and wisdom into any conflict that give wisdom to solve any challenge.

It can be tempting to stay away from looking at  the issue that is causing you problems. However, avoiding the problem does not help solve them.. Instead, accept that the problem exists at some level and ask yourself some questions about it. What are the consequences  for me due to the problem? Try to see if there is truth to it. Going into denial will not change your circumstances. While denial can be useful at times by protecting your state of being, it can in other cases lead you away from dealing with the problem head on. In fact, avoidance often exacerbates and deepens  the problem and doesn’t provide any lasting solution. Avoidance also breaks down the line of communication causing the other to feel not loved and their core values and emotional need being ignored. Avoiding your problem will  cause stress and deep psychological harm to the confidence level of the mind particularly the subconscious mind. That said, sometimes a little escapism can be healthy. If you find yourself overwhelmed and stressed, invest in the practice of meditation. But taken no responsibility  will be  childish behavior often use to avoid confrontations. This will often deepen the problems and cause worse damage.

For example, if you’re having a fight with your girlfriend or boyfriend because of trust issues. Examine your fears and your fears of the past , for they will trigger, sabotage and break down of your relationship. If in the past, emotional issues were not met, the feeling of not being loved can  triggered deep old hurt that has nothing to do with the relationship. If he/ she thinks they have being  cheated on  (even if  it is not true the question of lack of trust will cause break down of understanding the real problem), don’t make the problem worse by spending a lot of time out being social with other people as that will create doubt and feed the problem. This will only make you look worse and make it harder to argue from how you see the problem from your  perspective. Acknowledge the obstacle and realizing it would be foolish to ignore it.  It can be tempting to stay away from looking at  the issue that is causing your problems. However, avoiding the problem does not help solve them.. Instead, accept that the problem exists at some level and ask yourself some questions about it. What are the consequences  for me due to the problem, try to see if there is truth to it. Going into denial will not change your circumstances.
If you are having trouble admitting you have a problem, you might be in denial. For example, if you don’t want to accept that a close family member is involved in  heavy drinking and causing family problem with lack of  respect,  stealing money and other bad behavior which will destroy the lives of all close to them., you might come up with other excuses for the behavior which will not get to the root cause of the problem. Be clear about what the problem is . Become aware of sensitivity between thoughts and feeling of the other. One would be wise to taken into account what mechanisms the personal ego has adapted  to control and win regardless of the consequence. Here, there are no winners but disrespect from the way language is used which lead to break down of communication.

Denial can be useful at times by protecting your mental health. It can in other cases lead you away from dealing with the problem head on. In fact, avoidance often exacerbates the problem and doesn’t provide any lasting solution. Avoiding your problem will continue to create a lot of stress for you as it will always be weighing on the back of your mind. Your focus of attention will block you from finding a solution. A  little escapism can be healthy but eventually one always have to deal with the problem until it is resolved. Avoidance also breaks down the line of communication causing the other to feel not loved and their core values and emotional need being ignored. Avoiding your problem will  cause stress and deep psychological harm to the confidence level of the mind particularly the subconscious mind. One needs right knowledge and wisdom to be able to solve their problems. Become aware of habit behaviors that make the problem worse and more complex and try to keep a calm mind. When you’re having a problem with someone, discuss the problem with another who may be able to detach emotional from the problem and see it from both sides. First try talking to a person you trust; whether it’s a significant other or just a friend, sometimes it’s easy to do things that make the problem worse before you have the chance to make them better.

That said, sometimes a little escapism can be healthy. If you find yourself overwhelmed and stressed invest in the practice of meditation.One needs right knowledge and wisdom to be able to solve their problems. Meditation stops the fearful focus of our thoughts. Meditation creates inner wisdom receive by a receptive mind. Be clear about what the problem is . Become aware of sensitivity between thoughts and feeling of the other.
Try to see the other perspectives. When you’re fighting with someone it’s easy to feel that you’re right or your way of doing something is best. But we all have different perspectives with control issues and the need to win at all cost.  However, people rarely argue with you just to be contrary. They’re doing the best that they can with what they know and the situation might look very different from their perspective. Try seeing things from their side of the the problem in order to find you come up with an agenda that meet the other core values and meets their emotional needs. Sometimes, if you’re having a hard time understanding their perspective, it can be really helpful to just ask them. Ask them to explain, at length, why they think it would be better to take another route. Say something like: “Can you explain your thinking to me? Or if your partner is sensitive appeal to their feeling nature rather than the mind.” By walking through their feelings and thought process, you can often gain a better understanding of the problem and how to solve it. Make sure you show respect for their set of values and their core principles that they believe in. Give respect and time to listen and allow what hurt is buried deep down to come up into the light of the day. Respect create better understanding and will lead to a solution. When people feel disrespected or cornered, they will often become more argumentative and combative, even if they would normally agree with you. If you see a personal situation developing, try taking steps to make that person feel like they have more control and that they are respected. You will find that suddenly they are much more willing to talk.

Come to an agenda that both agree to solve any challenge. Conflict arises when lack of true communication. Secrets are kept, which leads to distrust. Lies are lived and experiences which create guilt and confusion prolongs the deep unhappiness. The pretense is lived without solving any problem. In a step wise fashion take baby steps to build trust and respect for the other. Once you’ve gotten as much information as you can and know what resources are available to you to make it happen, make your agenda. The agenda will give all the chance to believe that the plan will work.Creating goals give both the desire to solve their issues. The end goals is the objective . Know that each step brings the solution nearer to manifestation. Having a desire and a plan give focus and attention to succeed.

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